Missouri courts are beginning to recommend, or in some cases by local court rule require, mediation in family law cases. Family law mediation is popular because it allows parties to resolve issues in a cost effective manner that is less adversarial than a trial. You should consider mediation if:

1. The decision to divorce is mutual.
2. You are not easily intimidated by your spouse.
3. You would like to stay on decent terms; and
4. You can disagree with your spouse in a civil way.

The Missouri Supreme Court describes mediation as “a process in which a neutral third party facilitates communications between the parties to promote settlement.” Rule 17.01. The mediator approaches the issues between the parties in an effort to find common ground. Mediation typically occurs in a neutral and protected environment to help the parties explore and understand their interests, needs, risks and options. The ultimate goal is for the parties to walk out with a complete agreement. While this is not always the case, mediation can be extremely effective in narrowing down and identifying the parties’ actual points of contention.

Mediation in family law cases (divorce, paternity, child custody, modification) typically involves the parties-without attorneys-meeting with an independent mediator. The mediator is usually either court-appointed or retained by the parties. Family-law mediators are typically other family law attorneys or retired judges, all of whom have received specialized training in mediating domestic matters.

The mediator does not provide legal advice or counseling. The mediator does not represent either party.

The mediator assists the parties in addressing the differences between them, which typically include division of property (real estate and personal property), division of debts, child custody, child support, maintenance (what used to be called alimony) and payment of attorney fees. The mediator may be able to offer some insight though as to what a Judge is likely to do in some instances.

To encourage honesty and openness, the Missouri Supreme Court Rules (Rule 88 for family law cases) indicate that family law mediation is in the nature of settlement discussions, and as such, what is said in the mediation is confidential. Section 435.014, RSMo., further protects the confidentiality of the mediation process, with some specific exceptions, such as unreported child abuse or threats of serious harm. If there is a history of domestic violence, child abuse or other threatening behavior, most mediators agree that there is very little chance for family law mediation to succeed and it likely should not be attempted in these scenarios.

For mediation to succeed, the parties should have sufficient knowledge of the property (real and personal) and debt accumulated during their marriage, and their respective ability to earn income. Each party should be operating with an understanding of the differences between legal and physical custody where child custody is at issue. Both parties should understand that a “my way or the highway” negotiating stance is not going to be productive. Both parties should know where they are willing to compromise, but should also know where they are unwilling to do so.

Family law mediation can be successful because:

1. Both parties in the conflict decide the resolution. Allowing the parties to come to an agreement on their own terms, is always preferable to a judge or two attorneys hammering out a situation. The parties know their children and needs better than the court ever will after a trial, no matter how long.

2. The parties can learn the skills necessary for resolving future disagreements, which helps maintain a healthy future relationship. At trial, things are said and subjects are breached that can severely damage the relationship between the parties.

3. Mediation is extremely cost effective.

Reaching an agreement through family law mediation is a great way to resolve a divorce, child custody, child support or modification. Keep in mind a mediation agreement still must be reviewed and approved by the Court. However, most Courts will approve the agreement reached by the parties.

If you are considering family law mediation in your Missouri case, the attorneys at Kennedy, Kennedy, Robbins & Yarbro, LC knowledgeable and can evaluate your situation, helping you to decide if mediation is right for you. Contact our office today to discuss your family law matter.